Hey everyone. I’ve been MIA this week and haven’t posted any new content for quite some time. Well, I’m going to throw this out there because I feel like a lot of women and bloggers go through this and I’m coming to terms with it.
For several months now I’ve been maintaining the blog by myself due to Melanie having her first baby, Caitlin working, going to school full time, and planning a wedding. Pretty much they’ve been really busy and haven’t been able to contribute to the blog much. On top of trying to maintain the blog by myself I was trying to juggle my three callings in church, being a mother and taking care of a very busy 18 month old, trying to be a good wife and find time to spend with my husband and make him feel wanted and important, trying to keep the house clean, make dinner every night, keeping up with the laundry, loving and walking my neglected dog, maintaining friendships, trying to eat well and workout, work part time for my friends the Six Sisters’ Stuff and getting geared up for their upcoming Build Your Blog Conference, and try to launch my bra consultation business. For me, this was too much. Add on top of that, I’ve been going through this stage of feeling really insecure about myself, my work, my blog, and my self worth. For months I’ve been comparing myself to everyone and everything, thinking my life was dumb, not fabulous, and just plain boring. I became sad and depressed when I heard of other people’s successes and was feeling very jealous and envious because I wasn’t feeling that successful in anything I did. I’ve been feeling this way for months.
Last weekend I’ve been storing up these feelings of failure, envy, stress and the feeling that I should be more on top of things and organized and be able to do more in my day. I had a breakdown. McKay found me curled up downstairs in the laundry room folding laundry sobbing and tears streaming down my face. He felt bad because he was leaving me for the weekend to go on an over night scout camp with the young men in our neighborhood. I told him all of my frustrations, my insecurities, and my woes. McKay told me that my blog was creating me into a monster and was destroying me, and the sad truth was he was 100% right.
I’m the kind of personality when I decide I want something or wants to start a new hobby, I put my whole heart into it and a lot of times go to the extreme and I don’t give up until I get what I want. This is how my attitude has been for my blog. I wanted it to be successful and to have loyal followers who love me for being me and to swoon over my content and to establish a name for myself. Well, this is still my dream, but I have realized that I was putting my blog before my husband, my baby, my family, my friends, my passions and hobbies, and my duties as a wife and mother and all of this was making my life so unbalanced.
Since that teary weekend, I’ve decided that I need a break. No blogging. No social media. No nothing. Since this declaration I’ve felt so much better and happier since I’ve decided to do this. I’ve started to do things that I never had time for like sewing, doing some interior projects, actually playing with Amelia, taking naps, sleeping in, and not being on the freakin’ computer 24/7.
I’m planning on going to the Build Your Blog Conference this weekend and I’m so excited to get away for two days and meet and mingle with very inspirational women, to have fun, let my hair down, and to learn.
I’m planning on taking some more time off after the conference. I don’t know when I’ll start posting again regularly. It could be in a week or two, or month. I don’t know and don’t care at this point. I do know I’ll be back when I feel it’s time. Thanks for being supportive of me and my passions. Thank you for your sweet comments. Thank you for reminding me why I blog is to help, inspire, and uplift others.